I Was on an 11-Day Break

I lost my baby 11-days ago, a few hours after I published my last post I was rushed to the hospital because of extreme hemorrhaging, I knew by then that that was it. I will spare you the details as I don't wanna relive any of it anymore and I don't think anyone would find it interesting.

I stayed at the hospital for 3 days mostly because of depression, I had to undergo some counseling and psycho-therapy to lessen the burden of loosing a child. I can't say that it work but they seemed to think so because they let me come home after a day session.

While I was in the hospital, my mom urged me to go on a retreat just to clear my mind, so a day after I was released from the hospital I went to Tagaytay with a close friend and stayed in one of the retreat house there owned by a priest who was once a house-priest in the congregation where I belong. I stayed for 3days, thinking of what ifs and now whats; I, also, had some serious and heart-to-heart talks with the retreat master and some nuns who run the place. God must really be in that place at that time coz after praying, my first since I got there, it was my second day, I felt light, understanding sunk in and then, acceptance was finally mine.

It still hurts and I don't think it'll ever pass, I remember a quote from someone on a television show, "Pains of the past never really heals, people just learn to accept and live with it".

I'll always remember the little angel that was sent my way but is too special to be away from the Lord for a long time, that's why she was taken back in such a short time (4 months in my womb).

I have no questions, I am angry not, I am depressed no more because I understand.

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I'll be back to posting food later today...

Have a blessed Sunday everyone!